Buckets's Incorporating Quotes

"To approach the Other in conversation is to welcome his expression, in which at each instant he overflows the idea a thought would carry away from it. It is therefore to receive from the Other beyond the capacity of the I, which means exactly: to have the idea of infinity."
 -Emmanuel Levinas

His words are so eloquent, but so literal. Just thinking about his synergistic theory elevates me, perhaps the closest to Mother Theresa I will ever achieve. I look into the eyes of strangers and tendrils of light thrust towards me. Their gaze truly is celestial. Levinas has unlocked the world around me, where friends and acquaintances alike help me unlock a brighter world.
That's how it used to be. I would hold my head high walking to class, welcoming--dare I say, hoping, to pass by an old friend. Emblazoned in my heart was Alma the Younger's description of "having the image of God engraven upon your countenances." Every encounter offered a chance of eternal increase. A broader smile. Lighter steps. Small drops of infinity.
I don't know what changed. I still feel the warm afterglow of Levinas and Alma, but I am now greet during rushes to class and downcast glances. It seems everyone's light, including mine, glances askew, never filling the immense chasm of apathy I share with familiar passersby now. Perhaps I have become like the Book of Mormon's Lehonti, and I have "administered poison by degrees" to myself. Each minute demands scheduling. Each conversation draws deeper into the well of memories. I feel the poison course through me and watch an ambitious, selfish man rise to the surface. All of this because I and others seek to avoid awkwardness.