Marcus's Personal Essay Rivisions

For content, I need to make sure that I don’t include topics that are specific to LDS culture. For example, not explaining what a mission it, maybe a Patriarch or a Patriarchal blessing. I need to either take these out and refrain from using specifics in such a way OR explain what these are in a simple manner.

As for form, I will need to focus on better rhythm and description. Right now, the format of the paper is good, but I need to make sure that the text flows. Another thing I should look at or do is read the paper out loud and figure out what flows and what doesn’t. There are some lines that could have better diction.

The images are going to be greyscale to reduce the warmth of color, but I need to find a better initial image. I may use my final image at the start and find something else for the ending. Each image should relate to the heading (which I also need to include) of each section.

Marcus's Leavitt/Hoiland Post

1.    The author mentioned different methods of her writing, like using poetry forms to provide a different style of reading. If I remember correctly, she created the story in this form for a couple of reasons: 1. Because that’s just how the story ended up as she started writing it. 2. Poetry allowed her to write about difficult moments without being too graphic or specific. 3. The form created an interesting connection between the reader and the story – it was a truer form to tell the story. It made it more real. As for morals and LDS angles of her writing, she demonstrated the reliance of miracles. The author mentioned that many of these young girls turn to Christ because they have literally nowhere else to turn. She used this fact to increase the addition of miracles to the story. However, the author leaves it open ended, because she didn’t want the ending to be too glorious – many of the times, these young women only live up to 5 years once immersed in drugs and prostitution.

2.    “…A pretty useless word, really, but the fact that someone took the time to teach it to us, to say. it over several times until we got it and the Remy held the snail up to his eyes and said snigel means I will cherish that word as a passed-on treasure until I am old and forget all my words.” (Pg. 10)

I really liked how this part stood out among others even though she is very descriptive in her details throughout the book. She used a simple word and phrase to create an entirely new meaning which produced a deep reflecting moment. It is details like this that I would like to remember and put into my own writing. As I had mentioned before, writing boldly helped me remember details I had forgotten, but by replicating this style and approach, I think details will come back to me and I’ll be able to write them in a unique way. There are simple things in life that can have a great impact, and it is important to show that in my writing. At times I want to focus on this big moments, but the little ones pack a big punch as well.

Marcus's Belief Sketch

Books sprawled out in each direction; my hips sink lower into the mattress as I lean to grab another book. This one reads, “…one is worthy, all promises will be fulfilled in the Lord’s due time. Those promises and blessings that are not realized in this life will be fulfilled in the next…”. I reach for another marked with a yellow sticky note; “…securing it by his faith, to spring up in the last days, or in due time…”. Another book from my pillow, “…in the own due time of the Lord…”. I slam the book shut and grab a magazine flipped open to an old discourse; “…according to the own due time of the Lord…”.

Nothing. Months spent searching and years pondering, I still don’t have any answers. My entire life seems to be circling around these three words: in due time.

I remain seated on my bed. I look at the clock – a couple of hours have already passed. A couple equals two, I think to myself, two hours. I replay some of the phrases in my head from the texts: …in this life…, …in the last days…. I'm confident in understand the significance of time; how things “take time”, and how I’m supposed to “have patients” and even the indication of time frames. Nevertheless, it’s infuriating to not understand this specific time frame: in due time. 

Seriously, what the hell does it mean? I lay back defeated. Who am I kidding; hell wouldn’t know. 

Marcus's Character Sketches

His frail figure struggles with the excitement of meeting one of his heroes. Pure joy gleams from his eyes as he whispers with complete adoration – “Spiderman”. A nurse mentions that he suffers from severe muscular dystrophy and doesn’t usually see him so animated. Nevertheless, the boy shuffles through some papers and lifts up his drawing of him and Spiderman playing together. 

Sitting on the sand, soaking in the last glimpses of sunset – “It’s about time. You ready?” He darts toward the ocean, feet flailing behind him like an Olympic sprinter. Knees raises high trying to cut through the giant waves as they overcome him. His body twists and turns as its thrown side to side from oncoming waves. I just sit there. Bewildered. A young child would have done the same, but he’s 26.

Sitting majestically on the porch with her yellow locks flowing in the wind. She sniffs at the air taking in the salty scent with each ocean breeze. Bundled with all fours wrapped in a blanket I placed on her earlier, she glances at each runner as they pass by – longing to join them. After several hours lying motionless, she climbs up letting the blanket slide off, slumping to the floor. Paddling to the door, turning and glairing, she pauses, waiting for me to open it. I get up and slide the screen open while including a, “here you go” as she walks past. She says “thanks” and walks in.

Buckets's Three Character Sketches

1.
He wears two shirts two work: neon green and neon orange. His mustache matches the concrete he pushed. Grey flecks shower his boots, pants, arms. His jokes are sharper than his trowel, honed from years of hard work and boredom. In his work truck lay a bed of Mountain Dew; in the truck bed lay a mountain of work supplies. He is the king of this unfinished house, his crown an indestructible hat.

2.
A nervous twitch jilts his glasses. His wide smile splits the stubble. He likes connections. His shirt matches my companion's name and he steadily slides Hall and Oates lyrics in his comments to recognize mine. Younger than his age, stronger than his looks, he patiently awaits for his own recognition--that we are more than missionaries, and he is more than an investigator.

3.
She walks in spray-tan, like the others. Her fair holds extravagant curves and whirls. Though her black dress sparkles with jewels, she can easily disappear into the mob of competitors. Bolder than her clothes is the wedding band. What is a source of pride in others is her stumbling block to finding a dance partner. But when she adorns it during her routine, her smile beams brighter than skin and garb, and I cheer her on even louder.

Ana's Literary Journal Exercise

September 22, 2019

Journal Entry: This morning I did my communion report for English 385—so I went to the Provo Community Congregational United Church of Christ. I came a little early, and it turns out, the first person I met was from Hawaii, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and was visiting there for his niece’s baby baptism—we talked until church stated. Everyone was friendly. There were three baptisms that day. The only song they sang that I knew was “I Need Thee Every Hour,” but at least I knew one!

Variation 1:

--Hawaiian LDS member: friend to me at the Provo Community Congregational United Church of Christ (met when I came early)

            --Reverend Cupples: talked about sacrament of baptism, had three baptisms

Variation 2:

 I went to a church I had never went to before, and even though it was unfamiliar to me, I ended up learning a lot, and got to witness three baptisms. I even got to meet new people. It turned out to be a great Sunday despite my nervousness.

Variation 3:

“Help me figure out how to write this assignment.” It’s what was going through my head. Reverend Cupples and several members of the congregation helped my visit be an enjoyable experience. There was even a part when Reverend Cupples was talking about being children of God (with the baptisms taking place), which was great, as that was a theme I kept hearing throughout the week.

Variation 4:

The first person I happened to meet wore a plain red tie with a white shirt—matching with his son. At first I thought I blended in well when I also observed the wife and aunt (who were dressed up in floral dresses, similar to me), but then the father started to talking, and when he started to ask me about BYU—he told me he was a member of The Church. So the cat was out of the bag, and he explained to me he was only there for a baptism taking place.   

Variation 5:

How is it that the first person I meet turned out to be of the same religion as me when I did my communion assignment? Why do they do infant baptism vs. our child baptism? Why do they only participate in baptism in so often? How was I so fortunate to be able to have them sing at least one song I knew (“I Need Thee Every Hour”)?

When I use different approaches, I am able to focus on different details of the same story—details I may have overlooked in the writing process or didn’t think were that important at the time I was writing. For the variation of the asking questions, in specifically, it gets me thinking more about the event or about my ideals, which I can either answer on the spot, or come back to later, or never answer and have them there to open up to and reflect on. The list, for example, can be more as a way to get my thoughts down on paper without going too much in detail (the only reason why I have never liked this approach when it comes to journal writing—I love it for research paper outlines, creative writing drafts, etc.—is it’s more of a beginning stage for me, not a final product.