Marcus's Personal Essay Rivisions

For content, I need to make sure that I don’t include topics that are specific to LDS culture. For example, not explaining what a mission it, maybe a Patriarch or a Patriarchal blessing. I need to either take these out and refrain from using specifics in such a way OR explain what these are in a simple manner.

As for form, I will need to focus on better rhythm and description. Right now, the format of the paper is good, but I need to make sure that the text flows. Another thing I should look at or do is read the paper out loud and figure out what flows and what doesn’t. There are some lines that could have better diction.

The images are going to be greyscale to reduce the warmth of color, but I need to find a better initial image. I may use my final image at the start and find something else for the ending. Each image should relate to the heading (which I also need to include) of each section.

Marcus's Essay Plan

My topic is the effects of timelines in our lives. Within the church, and even outside the church, there seems to be a large stigma surrounding timelines. Well, mine isn’t ordinary. There are a lot of pressures on graduating college as a certain time, getting married at a certain time, going on a mission at a certain time. However, my timeline isn’t your timeline, nor God’s timeline.

As for a form to imitate in my essay, I would like to make it more personal with the use of letters, like Martine Leavitt. I think the use of letters (in this case, to myself) would add an interesting effect and cut up the traditional essay format. The manner in which we format our text allows us to read it differently – I’d like to experiment with that.

The format of my essay will mimic that of a traditional essay but will also include choppier and shorter paragraphs with the occasional letter to myself. These short letters will include motivation saying or advice to myself during difficult times. The content will include moments I feel I let myself down by falling behind: Gymnastics, Learning the Gospel, Late advancements in the Mission field, Getting into College, Joining a BYU Athletic Team, etc. I will include each of these in a timeline, but the timeline may have some hiccups.

The Book of Mormon as a Literary Text

   I have never pondered on the literary value of the Book of Mormon before, but in reading the introduction of Hardy's edition of the book I realized there are a lot of beautiful literally elements there. One of my favorite examples of this is "The Psalm of Nephi" in chapter 4 of second Nephi. I love it because it captures feelings that we all struggle with in such a beautiful and poetic way. Had that chapter not been written in that way (and written well), I don't think it would have held as much significance for me.
   I think Hardy's version of the text was really beneficial in the way it grouped concepts together. I really loved how the verses about Lehi's vision in chapter 1 are all put into one paragraph. It helps the reader focus on it as its own entity. I also really liked the headers as well. In chapter 2 when it has one called "Laman and Lemuel's Murmurings" and "Nephi's Faithfulness and Blessing" those really help demonstrate the contrast in that chapter that I feel like the writer is trying to convey. One thing I didn't like though is Hardy's formatting the Lord's response to Nephi in a poem at the end of chapter 2. It just doesn't seem to read like a poem to me. Maybe I am just missing something. If anyone has any thoughts on that that might help me to see why he did that, I would appreciate it!

What Difference does Formatting make when Reading the Book of Mormon?

         Strangely, before starting the process of analyzing one of the most reread chapters in the Book of Mormon in Latter-day Saint culture, I didn’t believe that a simple change in format could change the way I read 1 Nephi 1 and 2, but it does. Whether that is due impart to a familiarity of reading many books in a similar format, it’s unclear, but what I do know is that this format dramatically changed how I read certain phrases. This exercise made me reexamine how I subconsciously read the Book of Mormon in scriptural format, so I had to go reevaluate how I read it. For some reason, I tend to read The Book of Mormon in an uninterrupted motion, where I’m almost oblivious to punctuation. It feels like a constant flow of information from a stream, non-permitting of a breath of fresh air until I reach the next stanza.
          
          While reading the “A Reader’s Edition” of the Book of Mormon by Grant Hardy, I found that the commas and punctuation made me take more breaks throughout the sentence. This drastically changed the impact the sentences had on me, though the overall literary meaning of sentence was the same. At one point, I returned to the scriptural version to see if the commas were there. Sure enough, nothing had changed: “And he left his house, and the land of his inheritance, and his gold, and his silver, and his precious things, and tool nothing with him, save it were his family, and provisions and tents, and departed into the wilderness.” (1 Nephi 2:4). From a literary standpoint, this sentence is not one that I would imagine seeing published in a professional piece of literature. The mid-branching format combine with the polysyndeton – and.. and… – makes it feel extremely choppy and long. There isn’t really a need for that many conjunctions, but they are there. However, the commas make each section feel distinguish from one another, inviting the reader to pause, and see just how much Lehi had to give up. It’s fascinating because again, it enhances the meaning, where as if I were reading this in scriptural format, I may have just completely skipped over this sentence. 

Another powerful tool that Hardy uses to format the paragraphs is a poetic like speech. The first example I noticed of this is when Lehi talks about “Great and marvelous are thy works, O Lord Almighty…” and he continues. (Hardy 6) To me, because Lehi’s words are structured in a poetic format the words have a greater impact on the reader as an audience. For example, it made me want to incline my ear and listen to what Lehi was saying. No longer did it feel like he was speaking to the Lord alone, but to an unseen audience, just as one of the actors in Shakespearean drama might speak a soliloquy, but so many unseen ears are listening. Again, this may be occurring due to the fact that I have a past familiarity with poetry written in this way, but then again, not all the block quotes Hardy used impacted me in this way.