Thursday, November 7, 2019

Marcus's Personal Essay Rivisions


For content, I need to make sure that I don’t include topics that are specific to LDS culture. For example, not explaining what a mission it, maybe a Patriarch or a Patriarchal blessing. I need to either take these out and refrain from using specifics in such a way OR explain what these are in a simple manner.

As for form, I will need to focus on better rhythm and description. Right now, the format of the paper is good, but I need to make sure that the text flows. Another thing I should look at or do is read the paper out loud and figure out what flows and what doesn’t. There are some lines that could have better diction.

The images are going to be greyscale to reduce the warmth of color, but I need to find a better initial image. I may use my final image at the start and find something else for the ending. Each image should relate to the heading (which I also need to include) of each section.

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