I plan to revise my content by pulling out most of the references to the abstract, eternity, and the temple. I will instead bring in more of the concrete details, and have more mundane snippets, making the essay less about eternity and more about the first year of marriage.
I am going to refine the brief moments of dialogue to make them tie more into the whole. I also plan to refine the metaphorical elements to make them more smooth. I will cut out the quote altogether.
I plan on incorporating images of ingredients and an empty pie tin. I am trying to break the text into chunks, but will do so with smaller paragraphs instead of section headers.
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