Content:
I plan on getting rid of the some of the "LDS-only" references, but keep two and add stronger, more general introductions to the references. I'm kicking around the title of Friends at First, Are Friends Again? This is a Joseph Smith quote (question mark added), but sets a good tone for the essay. I also want to make the essays idea better outlined but still not didactic.
Form:
I like the brief vignettes of my old friends matched with brief sentences, but some sentences need to be broadened. Additionally, I'll try to make my signposts clearer--implicit instead of explicit--so the text doesn't get lost and seem to amble about. For the diction, I want to do a better job showing the chasm better ideal relationships and awkward connections.
Visual Design:
The part that I am struggling with most. Dr. Burton and I constructed the idea that I could take a picture of me and my mission trainer and show it again, but blurred and ambiguous. I like this idea, but will keep playing with other photos of friends. I also am going to work with my subheadings, to make them more attractive, and perhaps add one more so that I can avoid a wall of text in the middle of my paper.
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