Healed by Writing and The Lord

I have always written, but it wasn't till I dug a little deeper to find my true inner emotions to express that I could understand who I am. With that and the knowledge of my divine nature as a daughter of God that I found myself.

When I served my mission for the Church of Jesus Christ, I literally gave my whole self to the work to the point that I lost myself, but not in a good way. I lost myself in the sense that I suffered in order to help others. Not only did I help others at my expense, but I experienced many traumatic experiences. The experiences left me with emotions that I could not understand and because I could not understand them, I could not explain them to others. Trying to understand, but failing, I eventually gave up on trying to either explain myself to others or explain the emotions I felt to myself in my mind and in my journal. I repressed many intense and destructive emotions along the concourse of the 18 months I was serving. 

Coming home from my mission did not change the way I felt. Because I repressed so many emotions I was constantly and unknowingly anxious and depressed. It took some opening up to be able to understand what exactly I was feeling. After opening up more and more frequently in conversations with close friends, I realized that writing a book about my mission experience was what I needed to do to be healed from all the repressed emotions. I did that. I completed a full book. In the time span of 2 years, I spent countless hours trying to sort out experiences, feelings and emotions in my own mind through writing and communicating with my God. He healed me.